Middle age is a tricky thing.
Does it happen at 35 or is it 55?
No one really knows for sure.
In the stone age, middle age truly would have been old age.
There are young people who act old. Old people who act young. Perhaps best not to judge too much.
So how do you know if you’re middle age?
I compiled a list to help figure out where you might be on the middle age spectrum.
Count how many you say “Yes” to.
1. Muffin top is no longer something you only find in the bakery section. It’s now in the midsection too.
2. Comfortable shoes sound sexy, at least that’s what you tell yourself.
3. You need the gray touched up every two weeks, though you’ll push it to three or four. Maybe more.
4. 10 pm is a late night out.
5. You become nostalgic about everything.
6. You really want to go for a jog. You really do. But it would take too long to recover.
7. You use the word “jog”.
8. The music in every store is too loud and you’re not afraid to tell the salespeople to lower it.
9. A magnifying mirror and tweezers have become your best friend.
10. You eat less and exercise more. And that’s just to maintain your weight.
11. Every time you sneeze there’s an unpleasant surprise.
12. You can’t read a thing without your glasses. You now have a pair in every room of the house.
13. You’ve found at least one gray hair in your eyebrows. Possibly down south in your nether regions too.
14. You forgot why you’re taking this quiz.
15. There’s a strong possibility your keys are missing too.
If you’ve nodded your head “Yes” up to 5 times: you’re still quite young and should just invest in a good sunscreen; 6-10 times: You’re almost there. Maybe start thinking about estate planning; 11 or more: Welcome to middle age and elastic waistbands. You’ve now turned into your mother.
Ha! I said yes to ten so I am very, very close even though I’m just 37! Especially, #’s 1, 4, & 10. 🙂
Only three? You’re practically still a teenager 🙂
Oops, thought that said three. I need stronger glasses (another sign!) Not to worry, you could hover around 10 for a long time. 37 is a wonderful age. Sigh.
No gray nether regions… yet. But I pretty much fall into all the categories on this list.
(Except wanting to go for a jog.)
Thanks Lucia!
Welcome to the club 🙂
Good grief. I’m so middle-aged.
You’re in good company!
I definitely “passed” this quiz. Great list!
Thanks Lucia!
I am elderly! I wear bifocals because I can’t see with my contacts and the readers aren’t doing the trick. Contacts sticking to the eyeballs is another indication that you are beyond the middle!
Half the time I can’t find my glasses which are sitting on top of my head. Another sign!
Please do not be angry with me but the only one I agreed with is number 1 — muffin top. I knew I was ‘young’ as my kids tell me but your post confirmed it. I am 66 and feel about 40. Yet, I appreciate the fact that I have all that “experience” of those years that I can draw from — and hopefully wisdom as well.
2-sexy high heels,
3-not even one gray hair yet,
4-I sleep as little as possible and usually start ‘writing’ around 10 at night,
5 -rarely am nostalgic,
6 -power walk my dogs,
8 – love the music and usually want it louder than most people can handle (NO I am not deaf but if I can’t ‘feel’ the beat, it isn’t loud enough)
9 -nope,
10 -just the opposite; hence, the muffin top in number 1,
11 – no leaky surprises
12 – don’t need glasses
13 – no gray
14 – no memory problem
15 – organized and don’t lose stuff
But, then I am a health coach for the past 40 years so I better be HEALTHY, right?
You made my day!!
Carol @ Battered Hope
Carol, I need to know your secret! Sometimes I wear sexy high heels too, but then limp around in my fuzzy slippers afterwards.
When I was in my twenties I had cancer and was given two years to live. My choices were hysterectomy or death. Anger rose up inside of me and I told the doctor NO – I would walk in there pregnant one day and he said “Then, lady, go home, suffer and DIE.”
Three weeks after that diagnosis I was introduced to nutritional healing, and a few years later had taken all the courses, became a health coach and spent the last 35 years or so teaching people how to stay young.
And…..14 years after the diagnosis I walked into that docs office PREGNANT at 40.
This is cute, I’m definitely almost there…I can see the mountaintop!
I think the fact that I found this so funny is another sign! Glad I found your blog – I love it! Have a great day!
So funny and so true! I always say you work twice as hard to get half the results. Love and relate to all your items!
So proud that I’m not quite there yet. But I’m really, really close.
I am middle aged because I have bifocals in every single room, because I wear sweats every day and because I am older than you! Hahaha.
haha #14! I never use the word jog, unless it has to do with my memory. I told the cashier at Lucky Brand that I was disappointed they weren’t playing more Dylan. I just got misty watching the Microsoft commercial where the teenager sings “Gigantic” by the Pixies. I’m wearing a Rock n’ Roll Hall Of Fame Museum T shirt. I think middle age is a safe bet with me.
well it’s clear – i’m middle aged. here’s how i knew… http://icescreammama.com/2013/10/08/im-sexy-and-im-the-only-one-who-knows-it/
Well, I guess it’s official. I would tell you how many I said “yes” to but I can’t remember.
I think my favorate part of the story is the disclaimer at the end!
So funny and so true! I always say you work twice as hard to get half the results. Love and relate to all your items!
The jogging thing has me rolling because I recently decided to jog, and my middle-aged body betrayed me. My ankle rolled and now I sporting the”comfortable but sexy” walking boot for me broken foot. So I will stick to walking…when the doc clears me for it.
I should start estate planning immediately…but I’m currently recovering from the Vampire Weekend concert I attended last night. The only thing I really have going my way is the lack of grey hair at 47. I owe my mother for those genetics!
Loved your “There are young people who act old. Old people who act young.” statement – so completely true.
A resounding yes to each one. I think I may soon be too old for middle age.
Thank god I have a few no’s on that list! Phew…that was close!
I’m definitely there. But you know, I heard 60 is the new 40. So there we go! Enjoyable reading!
Yes, true. Oh, the loud music thing. Sad, sad, sad.
OMG – some of those things sound awful – please tell me they aren’t true! How about some of the wonderful things about middle age? Not scared to speak our mind. Don’t care about what others think. Enormous amount of wisdom – when we can remember it. And I know there are a bunch more. Just not sure what they are at this moment. Sheesh. I’m going to fight it every step of the way.
I have a few grays but I’m not ready to go to battle with them yet! I am in semi-denial about my glasses… I need them all the time but I’m annoyed because they’re scratched. It can’t be my eyes – they have to be at fault! And as far as my keys… wait — what did I come in here for??
Loved this!
Thank God I got a 5, but I refuse to say which….
God, this is funny. Or, maybe not so funny if this stuff is happening. I say “if” hahha!
That whole “sneeze-pee” thing really ticks me off.
#9 every.single.day. I’m 36 and said yes to way more than 5. I also gave up on my gray hair. Can you say skunk stripe?
(Yay HuffPo)
One of these days I will give up on my gray hair too and become a feisty silver haired lady!
Now, that’s just wrong…and funny!
OMG I loved this!
I’m not telling you how many I’ve said yes to, but let’s just say, I was asleep by 10:05pm last night!