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How To Buy A Bathing Suit Without Crying

bathing suit shoppingBathing suit shopping isn’t for the faint of heart. It involves nudity, bad lighting, and the awareness of your every flaw.

Unless you plan on sitting on the sidelines sweating it out in your caftan or muumuu while others are splashing in the cool water, you will need to take the plunge (sorry, couldn’t resist!) and hit the stores.

Do not fret. I’m here to help.

Here are a few tricks to make bathing suit shopping less painful:

[Tweet “Bathing suit shopping isn’t for the faint of heart.”]

1. Go to your nearest department store, I usually prefer Bloomingdale’s, a day (or two, at most) before you need the bathing suit. It is imperative that you’re slightly desperate and short on time. This helps with decision making.

2. Head straight to the restroom. You must pee. Any bloat can and will work against you.

3. Then make your way to the cute dress and t-shirt section of the store. Choose a few t-shirts and some pretty flowy dresses that you know will fit. Maybe even a beaded number. Anything sparkly. The key is to divert attention to the task at hand.

4. Then, and only then, approach the bathing suit section. Pick out a few cover-ups or caftans. They’re a safe bet. As you head towards the bathing suits move quickly and grab larger sizes than you think you’ll need. Asking the sales lady for a smaller size later will only boost your confidence. The reverse will bring nothing but tears.

5. Go to the dressing room and try everything on, except the bathing suits.  Leave them for last. You will need some successes before you strip down to your skivvies in front of a three way mirror under fluorescent lighting.

6. Once in the suit, give yourself a fifteen second look-over (no more!) and decide. If at first glance it’s not that bad, buy it and never look back.

And that’s what I did today.  I opted for the sassy sailor one-piece.
sassy sailor

How do you get through bathing suit shopping?

 

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Filed Under: Beauty, Fashion & Exercise, Popular Posts Tagged With: bathing suit, cover-ups, shopping

Comments

  1. Jessica Gottlieb says

    August 3, 2012 at 11:09 pm

    Yesterday I stood in the dressing room at Val Surf and cried.

    Is there no possible way to cover my boobs?

    Reply
    • Carpool Goddess says

      August 3, 2012 at 11:34 pm

      I feel that way about my tush 😉

      Reply
    • Sandra says

      January 21, 2013 at 2:01 pm

      Yep, it’s the boobs for me too.

      Reply
      • Carpool Goddess says

        January 21, 2013 at 3:27 pm

        There’s always something.

        Reply
  2. Ellie May says

    August 3, 2012 at 11:15 pm

    You are tooo funny! I laughed and cried my way through this post as unfortunately I could relate to everything you said. Thanks for the great advice!

    Reply
    • Carpool Goddess says

      August 3, 2012 at 11:35 pm

      My pleasure, Ellie May. Glad you could relate too!

      Reply
  3. Christina Simon says

    August 3, 2012 at 11:15 pm

    I’d totally wear the one in the photo! And, good tip about the “bloat” a big no-no for shopping and trying on swimwear. I order them online, but that has its drawbacks. They never fit! The dreaded store is the best option. And, like you, I love cover-ups so those always do the trick! Once I’m at the pool, they never come off.

    Reply
    • Carpool Goddess says

      August 3, 2012 at 11:37 pm

      Best idea yet, Christina. I’ll never take the cover up off. I’ll swim in it.

      Reply
  4. Gina Osher says

    August 4, 2012 at 3:16 am

    LOL! Excellent tips! Like Christina, I am all about the cover ups! But my best trick so far is to teach my kids to swim on their own so I never need to go in the pool at all! 😉

    Reply
    • Carpool Goddess says

      August 4, 2012 at 1:52 pm

      Good idea, Gina!

      Reply
  5. Missy says

    August 4, 2012 at 3:32 am

    Trying on bathing suits is my least favorite activity in the whole world. I dread the terrible lighting and the three way mirrors are brutal!!!! I usually wear my suits for as many years as possible – just so I don’t have to subject myself to that torture.

    I do like your suit though. Very cute!

    Reply
    • Carpool Goddess says

      August 4, 2012 at 1:52 pm

      Thanks, Missy! I try to cover up as much as possible 😉

      Reply
  6. NotJune says

    August 4, 2012 at 4:14 am

    Yes! Best not to look too long! Excellent idea about starting (hopefully) too big. Much better than the reverse.

    Reply
    • Carpool Goddess says

      August 4, 2012 at 1:53 pm

      LOL, yeah, I learned that the hard way.

      Reply
  7. Jess WhoaMamma says

    August 4, 2012 at 2:52 pm

    Oh I love that sailor one piece. Very 1950’s glamour. I hate, hate, hate shopping for bathing suits. I’m in Australia so it is Winter now. I have 5 months to boost my confidence. Fun post, love your sassiness. Visiting from SITS! xxx

    Reply
    • Carpool Goddess says

      August 20, 2012 at 8:31 pm

      Thanks for the visit! Will check out your site too 🙂

      Reply
  8. Laurie says

    August 4, 2012 at 4:59 pm

    Think matching caftans! Take the onus of the suit, and more on the head to toe chic. Love Baby Rio from Pucci this season!

    Reply
    • Carpool Goddess says

      August 20, 2012 at 8:31 pm

      Great ideas my pretty fashionista!

      Reply
  9. Amanda says

    August 4, 2012 at 5:05 pm

    Super cute choice! And your tips made me giggle. I may need to revisit this post in a couple months when I look for a bathing suit to cram my post-second-baby flab into. I’ll make sure to pee first, though!
    Stopping by from Saturday sharefest – so glad I did!

    Reply
    • Carpool Goddess says

      August 20, 2012 at 8:32 pm

      Thanks for the visit Amanda. Will be looking at your site too!

      Reply
  10. Winter says

    August 4, 2012 at 6:20 pm

    Brilliant! I love the 15 second assessment. You really will know pretty quickly if it’s good or not. Excellent advice!

    Reply
    • Carpool Goddess says

      August 20, 2012 at 8:32 pm

      Thanks Winter!

      Reply
  11. Stephanie says

    August 7, 2012 at 8:17 pm

    Great tips! Love the idea of grabbing bigger sizes than you think you need… I’m also a big fan of shaving my legs BEFORE I go shopping and doing a good job on my make-up that morning. Nothing worse than a splotchy face on top of the rest of it!

    Reply
    • Carpool Goddess says

      August 20, 2012 at 8:32 pm

      Didn’t think of that. Good point!

      Reply
  12. Pam @Mommacan.com says

    August 15, 2012 at 2:23 am

    I bought mine on Amazon and just thought, well nobody I will know will see me. When it came in, I tried it on and it fit, but not the size I consider acceptable. I vowed to lose 20 pounds and went home and drank a bottle of merlot.

    Reply
    • Carpool Goddess says

      August 20, 2012 at 8:33 pm

      Maybe a little merlot before shopping would be good too.

      Reply
  13. Sarah Maizes says

    August 17, 2012 at 5:31 pm

    You forgot – don’t eat any salt the day before – to help avoid any unnecessary bloating. Other than that – spot on. I hate shopping for swimsuits. All I see in the mirror is the fat old ladies I cringed at as a kid.

    Reply
    • Carpool Goddess says

      August 20, 2012 at 8:33 pm

      Yeah, I pretty much just see my mom! Ack!!!

      Reply
  14. Lois Alter Mark says

    January 21, 2013 at 9:57 am

    Love this — especially the part about being desperate and short on time. That’s the only way I can ever buy a bathing suit! Too funny!

    Reply
    • Carpool Goddess says

      January 21, 2013 at 3:28 pm

      Thank you. I do this with bras too.

      Reply
  15. Anne (@notasupermom) says

    January 21, 2013 at 10:15 am

    I have wept hot, salty tears of despair in department store dressing rooms. I’m going to try your advice next time.
    I may also pre-game with a mimosa or two first at a mall restaurant.

    Reply
    • Carpool Goddess says

      January 21, 2013 at 3:29 pm

      Pre-gaming is brilliant! I’m doing that next time.

      Reply
  16. Ellen Dolgen says

    January 21, 2013 at 10:50 am

    Love this! My 59 year old body is happiest when I shop online for bathing suits! I try them on in my own mirror – as soon as I wake up – before I eat or drink a thing! (of course, after I have my morning pee!)

    Reply
    • Carpool Goddess says

      January 21, 2013 at 3:31 pm

      Thanks Ellen. I’ve done online bathing suit shopping too and it takes me a few days to get up the nerve to open the package. Usually, I end up sending it all back.

      Reply
  17. Jane Gassner (@MidLi says

    January 21, 2013 at 11:07 am

    Or you can buy from a catalogue–’cause the model’s body comes along with the suit. Right?

    Reply
    • Carpool Goddess says

      January 21, 2013 at 3:32 pm

      Wouldn’t it be nice if it worked out that way?!

      Reply
  18. Helene Bludman says

    January 21, 2013 at 11:23 am

    Funny and so true! Definitely have to get through the torture as quickly as possible.

    Reply
    • Carpool Goddess says

      January 21, 2013 at 3:32 pm

      Glad you enjoyed it Helene. It is torture.

      Reply
  19. Haralee says

    January 21, 2013 at 3:09 pm

    So true and so funny! I think buying Bathing suits should be against the law and you have to buy one only if you have a fine to pay in lieu of money or jail time!

    Reply
    • Carpool Goddess says

      January 21, 2013 at 3:33 pm

      Yes, it is a form of punishment. Men are so lucky, all they have to wear are baggy swim trunks, with no worry of grooming.

      Reply
  20. Debi Drecksler says

    January 21, 2013 at 3:22 pm

    Simple solution…I just remove my glasses and see the body from 1973 staring back at me!

    Reply
    • Carpool Goddess says

      January 21, 2013 at 3:35 pm

      Genius!

      Reply
  21. Cathy Chester says

    January 21, 2013 at 4:37 pm

    This is my absolute worst nightmare. We go to Florida every year to visit my in-laws and (including my mother-in-law) everyone wears a size 0 to 10. Do you know if there’s a suit that covers cellulite? I think the women in the early 1900’s had the right idea with bathing suits down to their ankles. I knew I was born too late! Great article.

    Reply
  22. Emily says

    January 21, 2013 at 5:39 pm

    Oh that was good – you described that perfectly. I always go alone, too. I used to go with mom or a friend, but that’s a big no-no. I must endure that misery alone. I think you’re right on about the 15-second look. Any longer than that and you’d come home empty-handed. (P.S. I found your blog via the GenFab FB group that I just joined…)

    Reply
  23. Janie Emaus says

    January 21, 2013 at 6:34 pm

    I couldn’t agree more. I hate buying bathing suits and keep mine until the butt is all baggy and it’s a complete necessity to get a new one.

    Reply
  24. Rachel G says

    June 4, 2013 at 4:08 pm

    In the last three years, I’ve bought all of one bathing suit top. And that was bad enough. But actually, I have it easy there, because I have nothing on top. If my current shorts-style swimsuit bottoms every give out on me I will be very sad, because I prefer the strategy of avoidance.

    Reply
  25. Julie Chenell DeNeen says

    June 4, 2013 at 5:43 pm

    I have one almost exactly the same. Sailor suits are sexy (this is what I keep telling myself). Thank you for stopping by and linking up!

    Reply
  26. Undiagnosed but okay says

    June 5, 2013 at 6:39 am

    Oh I see where I messed up, I forgot to pee!!! Perfect timing for next weekend, thanks

    Reply
  27. Terrye says

    June 5, 2013 at 10:37 am

    This is brilliant! 🙂 Thank you for the laugh and for linking up with our Humor Me! Blog Hop!! This was great! 🙂

    Reply

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