I’m not just another ordinary Tooth Fairy. I don’t just slip cash under kids’ pillows. I also pull teeth. My kids’ teeth and even their friends’ teeth. Moms love this, as I save them a small fortune in dentist bills.
I come from a long line of tooth pulling Tooth Fairies. And I can say with great pride, my mother taught me everything I needed to know. She was a big fan of tying one end of a string around my tooth and the other end around a doorknob, which my brother would then slam, while my sister stood and watched. It never really worked, because I would run towards the door. So, she would move on to something less sadistic, like pliers.
I never realized the profound affect that had on me, until I had children of my own, and found I couldn’t wait to pull out their wiggly baby teeth. But, instead of using pliers to loosen or grasp, I used gauze and tweezers. I’d like to think that I really perfected the technique and took it to a whole new level. I had a high success rate.
I retired several years ago, but back in the day a shiny tooth that wiggled itself out with the push of a tongue would be worth $1. A visit to the dentist and a nasty shot of Novocain, earned $5 and an iced decaf mochachino. As my kids got older, they figured out I was the Tooth Fairy (against my bitter protests), but went along with it anyway. They liked the cash.
Tips for pulling wiggly teeth:
1. Get a bucket for the blood (Just kidding! Though it’s kind of fun to see the kid’s faces when I say this). An old towel to drape around their neck works just fine.
2. If you’re doing this over the sink, CLOSE the drain! We learned this the hard way. It was my first time pulling, and when I saw blood, I flung the tooth, which ricocheted off the edge of the sink and the slippery sucker slithered down the drain. Cut to screams and cries, of “How will the tooth fairy know to come to my bed tonight!” “Ugh. Don’t worry, she’ll know” tooth fairy mumbled.
3. Cotton balls, or better yet, extra cotton rolls from the dentist. I used to stock up on these for my thriving practice.
4. Most of all, nothing hot or crunchy for at least an hour, or it might bleed again.
5. Finish with hugs and kisses.
Tooth Fairy business:
1. Must be done stealthily. Slip the money under the pillow while you tuck them into bed. The slip of one hand, while you deliver a hug with the other, works every time.
2. But just in case you forget (Tooth Fairies aren’t perfect) and your child is hysterical upon awakening when he realizes the Tooth Fairy didn’t deliver, tell him to search under the bed (“just in case it dropped”), while you offer to get a “flashlight” (quick dash for cash). Then sneak it under the covers while he’s hunting for money and cheer, “I found it sleepyhead!”
3. Preserve the myth at all times!
The tooth fairy forgot quite often in our house. But we were of the “they had so many last night, I bet she will come tomorrow” kind. You are just much quicker than we were.
Your idea is good too 🙂
I have the best collection of notes my kids left for the tooth fairy. Fun article!
Thanks Hayley!
I love this piece! It reminded me of when my mother would pull out our teeth with pliers. My kids are still too young for their teeth to be falling out but I will remember your tips! Or, maybe you can just come over and do it for me… I’m a little squeamish. 🙂
Happy to do it for you, Donna 🙂
I will tell my son about your post when he gets home from school. He will be very excited to know that I have found instructions on how to get that very loose front tooth out. Fingers crossed that it works or I may be requesting a housecall. Lorena
You can call on me anytime. Good luck!
Hilarious post! So funny because the weirdest thing happened this week to my daughter. She is 10 and came home from school on Tuesday. She comes from watching t.v. and announces that a tooth came out. OK ordinary, so a tooth came out. Then about 15 minutes later… she comes again to say another tooth came out. Wow, 2 teeth! OK so it gets even better. About 20 more minutes roll on by and she come in again with another tooth out. Holy Cow…3 teeth in the span of about an hour. That’s when I get the camera out and put a pic on FB. So then I have to leave and go shopping with my son. When we return home… guess what?????? You got it! Another friggin tooth!!! This might have to be a world record? All I know is that she broke the toothfairy bank that night. Sorry to all the other kids with lost teeth that night… my daughter took all the T.F.’s money! If you think that is crazy… ask me about the time my kids single handedly knocked out 4 teeth from their friend’s mouth within two days.
Oh my you brought it all back. My father used to tie a string to my teeth and slam the door. It is like a bad dream! Somehow my kids got all of their own teeth out with no help from me, their very squeamish mother.
You’re lucky. I had to get over my fear of blood pretty quickly.
Cute! It’s odd, but I don’t remember ever having to pull my kids’ teeth out. Thankfully they were cooperate little buggers; don’t know if I could have done it. I do remember my mom and dad doing it for me, though. And the forgetful Tooth Fairy…she lived in our house too. Kids never figured it out.
My kids might have been on me, but they never blew my cover, they liked the money too much 🙂
You know what’s even funnier about this? I was JUST sitting at the table doing homework with my kids and a bunch of their friends and one of them was telling us how she used to try to pull out her teeth by tying a string to a door!
Hi! I just found your site from UBP13. So glad I did!
Nothing fills me with more dread than sneaking into a dark room to attempt to carry out tooth fairy duties. I hate it! Our tooth fairy sucks and hardly ever delivers the money the first night so my kids have gotten used to it. Thank goodness my oldest just holds out his hand for money now, but my youngest has moved on up to a lofted bed so I have to stealthily climb his squeaky ladder and try not to wake him. Although I’m a bit nostalgic about the end of this myth, I’m similarly relieved.
I used to teach kindergarten and one year a little girl showed me her loose tooth. I asked her if I could pull it and she said “sure,” so I did. I made a big deal out of because in all my years teaching kindergarten nobody had ever let me pull a tooth. So after that I had many, many kids ask me to pull their teeth. There were even some parents who told me their kids waited all weekend with an extremely loose tooth so I could pull it for them on Monday. This talent followed me when I became a librarian at the same elementary school. Finally, I moved to a middle school where my teeth pulling talent was just not needed.
My favorite story is of some friends of mine whose daughter wouldn’t let them pull a tooth, so they put on head lamps and snuck into her room one night to pull it while she slept. The stories she tells of them hitting the floor when she rolled over are hysterical!
I am kind of sad I am out of the teeth pulling years!