Lots to talk about before Mini-Me leaves for college. Even though she’s heard the speech, I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night if I didn’t say it, yet again. I cringe as the words come out of my mouth, knowing what’s coming, “Mom, you don’t have to tell me this. I’m not stupid.” But, I say it anyway.
We have “The Talk.” You know, the one about the birds and the bees, alcohol, drugs, parties, the buddy system at parties, boys, boys & safety, safety in numbers, safety in general, grades, classes, friends, roommates, and laundry. (Click here for my Health & Safety Tip Post List: What Every Freshman & Parent Should Read Before College) How do you go from holding your baby in your arms that you’ve loved, nurtured and protected to dropping them off, ALONE?! It feels unnatural to let go, but I must. It’s just the worry I can’t let go of.
You want to make sure they remember every piece of advice you ever gave them. No matter how big or small. (Look both ways before crossing the street, don’t run with food in your mouth, stay way from mixed drinks, wash your hands…) In college they will be making just about all their decisions themselves and it’s scary no matter how good a head they have on their shoulders. They will make mistakes. You just pray they’re not big ones.
I told her the same I told College Boy, “You can call us 24/7. About ANYTHING. I’m serious.” We set up a Skype account so we can look at each other when we speak. Not all kids are a fan of this because parents can see the mess they’re living in now that mom’s not there to clean up. I promise not to complain. Really. I’ll try.
Once I finish filling her head about the perils of beer pong and walking alone at night, I realize she’s not the only one that needs advice before she goes. I don’t have a clue how to use Skype or Tivo or the remote. I’m not the only one having a hard time. For weeks my husband randomly calls me during the day just to say “Our baby is going away to college.” Sigh. Lucky for me, I’m pretty sure he knows how to work the remote.
This brings to mind when we sent Mini-Me on her first (and only) sleep-away camp, her big brother said, “There goes one brave little soldier.” Brave little soldier, indeed.
Enjoy your new adventure, Mini-Me! Be safe. Be smart. Be happy. We love you. XOXO
Wonderful post! Your daughter is a lucky girl to have such a loving mom. To me, drunken frat boys can be the biggest terror on campus:)
Thanks, Christina! Drunken frat boys are my biggest terror too!
Aw, this made me a little teary as I sit with my 22 month old daughter on my lap and she watches Sesame Street. I can’t imagine sending her off to college (gasp when I think of all the trouble I got into in college!!) because she’s my baby!! I doubt we ever outgrow feeling they are so vulnerable and innocent and small. Good luck!
Thanks Stephanie. Enjoy every minute with your precious girl!
You will both survive…and I know how to skype, Tivo and use the remote, so just holler if you’re in a jam.
You’re also pretty good with photo-shop too 🙂
When I talk to my College Boy, I end every conversation with the same phrase. “Be safe. Have fun. Remember I love you.”
Aww…great minds think alike.
Perhaps it’s both parents and child that are brave in this situation since both have to let go and fly, albeit in very different ways. I hope it’s a wonderful experience for all. And, of course, great advice.
Thanks, Sarah. I’m sure you’ll be hearing about how we survived move-in 😉
Thanks for sharing your lovely experience with your daughter. It’s apparent you two have a strong bond. Sounds like you’ve done everything you can to prepare her and that is one of the main reasons she will be just fine 🙂
Thanks Lorena, I keep reminding myself this. Deep breaths…right?
I could barely read this. My oldest son is a senior and next year he will be leaving for college and I swear to you every time I even see the word college I start crying. In other news, you’re a good mom for saying all of those things one last time. It’s our voice in their heads that leads them to take their drink to the bathroom with them instead of leaving it on the table or to forgo the evening run because there is no friend available to join.
Thanks, Stefanie. I know exactly how you feel. I would go from crying to denial. The first one going off to college is huge! You’ll still have kids at home, but it will feel different until everything settles and it becomes the new normal. Then the focus switches to the one next in line.
My husband taught me the “Be Safe, Have Fun” line. But like you, I’ve always needed to give every last bit of advice in the hopes of protecting or making the lives of my children better. I only recently realized that my kids (and husband) tune out most of what I have to say when I start giving out a lot of advice. So now, I try to keep it simple so they will remember what’s most important. Less is more although it’s a lot harder for me to be concise than verbose.
Your “mini-me” will be fine. And guess what, so will you! Good luck and congratulations to everyone for reaching this new and exciting milestone – especially the new college student.
Thanks, Hayley! I’ve told the speech so many times the kids roll their eyes and laugh 🙂
It’s a must do for all moms, to keep on reminding our daughters of what could, might, possibly happen, blah blah, be aware of the danger/signs, etc. Who else will do this if not us? The dads are ok though they won’t go to such intimate discussions, hello, it embarrasses them, I think. In the end, let it not be said that we lacked guidance to our precious daughters. Although it will still be their decisions that would prevail, our guidance is a gentle light that will keep them to the correct paths of life.
Thanks, CD, it has to be said, and if not by us, than by whom?
I’m hoping my two will go to the local university so they can just live at home, but if they don’t David will probably have to pry me away from them when it is time to leave. I don’t do so well with this whole cutting the apron strings thing.
Cutting the strings are very hard! Thank God for cell phones and texting. It’s made it so much easier.
Love this! You are a good Mama and I am sure she will do just fine.
It may take you a tiny bit of time but you will do fine too. 🙂
My “baby” is 29, not sure where the time went.
I love your blog.
Thank you so much for your support and compliment, Chris! I’m so glad you enjoy it.
I am feeling all of the feelings for this, even though my son is only 5! I can’t imagine right now what it feels like to drop your baby off… but my mom knows. 🙂
grest reading list! I’ll have to check some of these applicable ones out!
Hi, I’ve just found your website today and it has been very uplifting and encouraging to me. I’m a single mom and just dropped my only daughter to college last Sunday (08-02-15). I cried like a baby and felt much grief especially after I got back home. I thought I was going crazy. For the last 3 days, I’ve been looking up posts and articles to make sure I’m not the only one feeling this way. I thought I was going to be strong, but didn’t know how much of a ‘break-down’ I would have after letting her go. I’m a little better today, but find myself being teary-eyed every so often throughout the day.
Did you or any of the other mom’s feel this way? I just want to make sure I’m not losing it.
Thank you for the articles and posts.
Stephanie S.