Carpool Goddess

Adventures From Carpool To Empty Nest

  • Home
  • About Me
  • Published Work
    • My Books
  • Writer’s Life
    • Reading List
  • Parenting
  • College
    • Empty Nest
  • Midlife
  • Contact Me

10 Things Only A Mother Could Say

My beautiful, funny, spirited Mom turned 83 this year. In honor of her – because every day should be Mother’s Day, right? – I would like to share some of her “mommy wisdom.” Though we didn’t always see eye to eye, her words are worth their weight in gold. Thanks Mom for caring. I love you.

Things only a mother could say
10 Things Only A Mother Could Say:

 

1. This too shall pass. It annoyed me endlessly when she said this, but it’s probably the best advice she ever gave me and I tell my kids the same thing. Time heals most wounds (or at least it dulls the pain). And in the case of something embarrassing, people have short attention spans. I can barely remember what happened yesterday, so I know this is true.

2. Pinch your cheeks. Everyone looks better with a rosy glow. My mom never spent a dime on blush, she just pinched. Many years (and broken capillaries) later, it was worth it. I don’t have to buy blush either. Think of the money I’m saving.

3. You could use some lipstick and while you’re at it, brush your hair. For a person with kinky curly frizzy hair who didn’t have a clue about hair gel, this was more of a curse. She really just wanted us to look our best before we walked out the door, (“You never know who you’re going to meet!”). To this day, I feel naked without lipstick. It’s the frizzy hair I’m still struggling with.

4. They’re just jealous. When someone was mean to me at school, this was her go-to line. Even if it wasn’t true, it made me feel better. I say this to my kids. They’re buying it too.

5. It needs a little salt. My mother is a good old fashioned cook. Most of her recipes came right of out the shtetl (little Eastern European towns where cholesterol meant nothing either). It’s amazing we didn’t have clogged arteries in our twenties. I try to eat healthy, so when she reaches for the trough of Mayo or butter, I have to look away. However, if she says something needs a little salt, she’s probably right.

6. Anyhoo. My mom’s favorite word when she wants to change the subject or avoid a confrontation. Completely crazy and lighthearted (the word, not my mom), it never fails to put a smile on my face.

7. Don’t run, you’re going to hurt yourself. As a kid, I was a super fun combination of klutzy and foolish, so we had our share of emergency room visits. Practically every time I moved, she thought I was going to poke an eye out. Twenty years later that almost happened during a rambunctious “Head, shoulders, knees and toes,” but that’s another story.

Linda & mom funny face

8. Your face is going to freeze like that. I was the queen of funny faces. I could make my eyeballs shake and flare my nostrils on command. As you can imagine, my parents were very proud.

9. Put on a sweater, I’m cold. I promised myself I would never say this to my kids, but I do. At least I no longer remind them to pee before they leave the house.

10. Well, isn’t she full of piss and vinegar. My mom’s favorite expression (that used to make me cringe!) to describe someone outspoken and full of fire. (This often applied to me, and one of her aunts, who shall remain nameless.)

Anyhoo…Happy Mother’s Day!

Any words of wisdom from your mom you’d like to share?

Share
Tweet
Pin
Share

Filed Under: Parenting Tagged With: funny things moms say, humor, mom, mom advice, mother's day, sisters from another mister, things mom say, things only a mother could say, widsom

Comments

  1. Pauline Gaines says

    May 12, 2012 at 4:03 pm

    My mother always told me to put on a little lipstick too! One of her best pieces of advice was to “look people in the eye and give a firm handshake.” I tell my kids the same thing, sometimes with an elbow in a rib if they’re off their game. 🙂

    Reply
    • Carpool Goddess says

      May 12, 2012 at 5:26 pm

      I like that Pauline! I’ve always told my kids that too.

      Reply
  2. Missy says

    May 12, 2012 at 4:09 pm

    Timeless. Moms everywhere must have had a meeting so they all learned the exact same sayings! Not only did my mom remind me to always put on lipstick and brush my hair, I was instructed to never forget to put in earrings. I guess it completed the look in her mind. I still feel a little naked without them!

    Reply
    • Carpool Goddess says

      May 12, 2012 at 5:37 pm

      My mom wouldn’t let me get my ears pierced until I was a teenager (actually, I begged my ENT to talk my mom into saying “Yes” while at my post-tonsillectomy checkup – I was almost 15). I feel naked without them too!

      Reply
  3. Donna Tetreault says

    May 12, 2012 at 10:37 pm

    Love it all! When my mom planned a surprise 16th bday party for me I should have listened when she said to put a little make-up on… She had taken me out of the house for some errands and when we were driving back to the house to this amazing surprise party, she kept saying just put on a little, I wouldn’t listen… So needless to say, I entered the party no make-up and well… enough said.

    Reply
    • Carpool Goddess says

      May 13, 2012 at 12:03 am

      Thanks, Donna! Wow, after that experience I don’t know if I’d ever leave the house again without being camera-ready 30 days before or after my birthday. Just in case!

      Reply
  4. Christina Simon says

    May 13, 2012 at 1:59 am

    Your mom sounds like she knows a lot about life! I also say, “they’re just jealous” to my daughter. Anyhoo, Happy Mother’s Day!

    Reply
  5. Katie Hurley says

    May 13, 2012 at 3:22 pm

    Love this! My mom used to practically chase us with brush to make sure we went out with smoothe hair! She also always told me to dress up when traveling bc you never know who you might run into! And yes, I do this. Sigh.

    Reply
  6. Jessica @ Stay at Ho says

    May 13, 2012 at 7:53 pm

    So true! I still ask my kids if they have to go to the bathroom, but they are in preschool so I think it’s stil ok:) I’m going to have to incorporate “anyhoo” into daily life, it could really fill a gap for me!

    Jessica
    stayathomeista.com

    Reply
  7. Carpool Goddess says

    May 14, 2012 at 1:49 pm

    Thank you for the comments. Hope you all had a wonderful Mother’s Day. Jessica, it wasn’t that long ago that I stopped asking my kids, purely out of habit, and mine are older!

    Reply
  8. trininista says

    May 20, 2012 at 6:04 pm

    My mum always says, “God don’t like ugly” and boy, did that make us behave. It is applicable today too and she adds, “God does not sleep” so I never sweat the small stuff. Thanks for passing through my blog.

    Reply
  9. Connie McLeod says

    May 5, 2013 at 6:19 pm

    All good classic mom lines. My mom’s best line that I used with my own daughter was, “I don’t argue with children.”

    Reply
  10. Sharon Greenthal says

    May 5, 2013 at 6:35 pm

    I always tell my daughter “you never know who you’re going to meet.” She rolls her eyes at me, too!

    Reply
  11. Karen says

    May 5, 2013 at 7:34 pm

    So funny…and all good advice. I admit to using the “put on a sweater, I’m cold” manouevre on my own kids, too. 🙂

    Reply
  12. Lois Alter Mark says

    May 5, 2013 at 7:35 pm

    These made me laugh because I think my mom said every one of them! We still tease her about telling us to put on sweaters because she’s cold! Thanks for sharing these and bringing back so many great memories (and reminding me that I may be turning into my mother!)

    Reply
  13. Amy Ruhlin says

    May 5, 2013 at 8:04 pm

    What wonderful “mom lines”, Linda. I think I’ve said all of them to my kids! Fun post.

    Reply
  14. Cathy Chester says

    May 6, 2013 at 4:52 am

    Are you sure we don’t share the same mom? I heard many of the same things from my mom!

    Wonderful post and I love the photo – nice hats!

    Reply
  15. Karen D. Austin says

    May 6, 2013 at 5:29 am

    What a great set of Mom phrases. My kids will probably grow up to complain that I talked way too much about their digestive system. “Don’t eat too much chocolate. It’s binding!” I have already promised to subsidize their therapy bills.

    Reply
  16. grownandflown says

    May 6, 2013 at 8:05 am

    The benefit of repeating ourselves to our kids is that they have a wonderful list of mom-isms to take with them in life. Waht a fantastic photo of the two of you – love the hats and smiles!

    Reply
  17. Ginger Kay says

    May 6, 2013 at 8:21 am

    These were funny….and made me wonder what repetitive phrases my children associate with me. I hope they’re as good as these.

    Reply
  18. Enchanted Seashells says

    May 6, 2013 at 8:41 am

    OMG you should really look at one of the pics in my post, we look very much alike. It’s the hair I think! “Your face is gonna freeze like that” I heard that sooo many times and esp when I’d stick my tongue out at her, she’s say it was gonna be like that forever, and the eye roll, LOL.

    Reply
  19. Donna Highfill says

    May 6, 2013 at 12:31 pm

    My mother still uses the “they’re just jealous” line with me, and it works every single time. Great post – thank you!!

    Reply
  20. Amanda Fox says

    May 6, 2013 at 12:39 pm

    I love all of the advice. The “don’t run, you might hurt yourself” reminds me of a funny story my husband always tells me about the time he ran into a wire fence after his mother just finished yelling at him to stop. My husband didn’t listen as a child, and he still doesn’t LOL. Great post, and smart mom! I’ll have to try the pinching. I could use a little colour. 🙂

    Reply
  21. Bonnie says

    May 6, 2013 at 3:57 pm

    Linda, I love this! And my mom had many of the same sayings!
    Anyhoo…now that I’m stealing!
    Thank you for some wonderful memories!

    Reply
  22. Helene Cohen Bludman says

    May 6, 2013 at 4:23 pm

    Your mom sounds adorable! I love the “anyhoo.” And also “Put on a sweater, I’m cold.” I’m going to try to remember that one. 🙂

    Reply
  23. Barbara Shallue says

    May 6, 2013 at 8:28 pm

    These were all great! The scary thing is, they remind me of me! (Except for the lipstick part – I just never got used to that!)

    Reply
  24. Pat says

    May 7, 2013 at 1:11 am

    These all sound familiar with exception of no. 7. Instead of “Don’t run,” my mom always said, “Go run!” She encouraged me to pursue my love of sports at a time when society still frowned on athletic girls.

    Reply
  25. Stacy says

    May 7, 2013 at 8:53 am

    If she’s going with me, I still remind my 20 year old daughter to use the bathroom before we leave. *eye roll* My mom’s most often heard advice was “If you don’t expect anything, you won’t be disappointed.” True, but how depressing!

    Reply
  26. Raquel @ Organized I says

    May 7, 2013 at 9:00 am

    Oh I like anyhoo! My mom also said the lipstick comment a lot. Love the photo too – reminds me of the 70s.

    Reply
  27. Jackie DeMuro says

    May 7, 2013 at 11:49 am

    I say “Anyhoo” all the time. It’s a great segue. The sweater thing is very funny, too!

    Reply
  28. rebeccatirabassi says

    May 7, 2013 at 6:15 pm

    Whenever I was in an argument with someone, my mom would ask me their side of the story. It would infuriate me because I thought she never took my side. Now I see the wisdom and try to get my kids to see the other side.

    Reply
  29. Kim says

    May 7, 2013 at 6:38 pm

    You made me chuckle…especially on #9.
    My favorite though is #2 – just a pinch!

    Reply
  30. christine says

    May 7, 2013 at 7:48 pm

    Wonderful advice, all! All winter long, I tell my kids to put more clothes on, seeing as how I am freezing. They are, too, they just don’t know it. 🙂
    As for the bathroom, I stopped doing that. Once, before leaving the house, I asked everyone if they had gone to the bathroom, as we were going to track practice and there weren’t any bathrooms there. Thirty minutes later, when we got to the track, I discovered that one of the kids had gone to the bathroom after the reminder, and I had accidentally left him at home.
    TALU

    Reply
  31. daphne says

    May 7, 2013 at 9:07 pm

    my mom always told me to roll on my backside…… i guess she thought it was too round! 🙂

    Reply
  32. Caryn/The Mid Life G says

    May 8, 2013 at 2:25 pm

    My mom used to tell me “This Too Shall Pass” as well. Another one of her favorites: “When the world leaves you behind, your family will always be there.” So thankful for moms who hang in there through thick and thin.

    Reply
  33. Cheryl Nicholl says

    May 9, 2013 at 9:30 am

    So she wouldn’t buy (or use ) blush but she loved the lipstick! Oh, the vain ironies of life. Love it!

    Reply
  34. Susan Hemingway says

    May 10, 2013 at 4:33 pm

    I think, except the lipstick, I’ve said every single thing to both my daughters, very young women now and I’m only 50. There must be a book somewhere with momisms that the original mom wrote and passed down generation after generation or what we say as moms just makes sense.
    Although I do say, don’t mess around, you’ll poke someone’s eye out. I’m not sure why since they could be wrestling with a workout ball but hey, it get’s their attention.

    Reply
  35. Julie Chenell DeNeen says

    July 8, 2013 at 11:49 pm

    Everything is better with salt I say! 🙂

    Reply
  36. Nicole says

    February 18, 2014 at 9:22 pm

    These are classic! The follow up question is…how many have you found yourself telling your kids the same things?

    Loving your writing. So funny and true! We’d love to have you share your perspectives on parenting — empty nesting, memories of the carpool line and anything in between — over at Great Moments in Parenting, where we are dishing out essays, “moments” and photos commemorating the agony and ecstasy of having kids. Thanks in advance for considering it, and we are looking forward to reading more of the great stuff you are writing and sharing!

    Reply
    • Carpool Goddess says

      February 20, 2014 at 10:01 am

      Thanks Nicole! I’ll come by your site for a visit 🙂

      Reply
  37. Kerry says

    May 7, 2014 at 9:13 am

    Love her saying! Classic mom sayings – and this has inspired me to do a little interview with my own mom. Thanks – and hope you have a great mother’s day weekend.

    Reply
  38. Connie McLeod says

    May 7, 2014 at 4:56 pm

    LOL! Loved these. #9 reminded me of getting in the car with an aunt and she asked me if I needed to go. Her kids were still young and I was in my 20’s, I assured her, she didn’t need to ask me, I had that under control. We still laugh about that conversation!

    Reply
  39. Helene Cohen Bludman says

    May 7, 2014 at 8:40 pm

    Still get a kick out if these.

    Reply
  40. Chloe Jeffreys says

    May 10, 2014 at 8:03 pm

    Your mom and my mom must have gone to the same School of Being a Mom.

    Reply
  41. Dominique Finnemore says

    August 31, 2015 at 5:53 am

    I promised myself I would never say this to my kids, but I do. At least I no longer remind them to pee before they leave the house.

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. I've Been Called Many Things, Sporty Isn't One Of Them - Carpool Goddess says:
    January 23, 2017 at 2:53 pm

    […] My brother, sister and I were doing relay races in our front yard. Burning sugar fuel until our mom called us in for […]

    Reply
  2. If My Purse Could Talk - Carpool Goddess says:
    April 25, 2018 at 1:44 pm

    […] in its crevices, I could always find coins and gum. Her handbag confirmed the notion that our mom was always prepared for anything. And that always made me feel […]

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

About Linda Wolff

Stay Connected

Get Me in Your Inbox!

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Places You Will Find Me

featured writing

I’m In These Books

Looking For Something?

Top Posts

  • 10 Things That Smell Good
    10 Things That Smell Good
  • Tell Me About Yourself: Take My Fun Survey
    Tell Me About Yourself: Take My Fun Survey
  • Fear of Flying: Sit back, relax, and enjoy the flight. Yeah, right!
    Fear of Flying: Sit back, relax, and enjoy the flight. Yeah, right!
  • College Moms Share Their Empty Nest Stories -  The Good, The Bad, And The Laundry
    College Moms Share Their Empty Nest Stories - The Good, The Bad, And The Laundry
  • The 18 Best High School Movies
    The 18 Best High School Movies
  • How I Met My Husband: When Love Is Meant To Be
    How I Met My Husband: When Love Is Meant To Be

Categories

Follow Me Everywhere

Get Me in Your Inbox!

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Popular Posts

  • 10 Things That Smell Good
  • Tell Me About Yourself: Take My Fun Survey
  • Fear of Flying: Sit back, relax, and enjoy the flight. Yeah, right!
  • College Moms Share Their Empty Nest Stories - The Good, The Bad, And The Laundry
  • The 18 Best High School Movies
  • How I Met My Husband: When Love Is Meant To Be

Copyright © 2023 Carpool Goddess. All rights reserved.