When burying the hatchet over old wounds, when the opportunity arises to make amends, do we kiss and make up agreeing to disagree? Or rehash all the icky, painful, uncomfortable stuff, leaving the possibility for more damage once the proverbial pot is stirred.
If we don’t talk about it, is it ever really resolved? Do bad feelings linger? How much do we ignore before we say enough is enough? And, are some wounds so deep they can never heal?
The three sweetest words in life are “I love you.” The second best, “I am sorry.”
Though for some people saying “I’m sorry” is hard, almost painful. Why do some people have such a hard time admitting they’re wrong? Is it arrogance, competitiveness, egos?
Deep down, I’d like to believe they actually have some awareness, but wonder if they fool themselves into thinking that if they don’t admit it maybe it never really happened.
If “to err is human, to forgive divine,” well, saying “I am sorry” is pretty divine too. Those three simple words can do more good, raise our serotonin levels, and unleash more happy endorphins than pretty much anything.
But the key is how it is said. A person can feel it it is sincerity. Looking someone in the eye, not rolling the eyes, is a good start. Not saying, “but…” after “I am sorry”, works wonders too.
If “Love means never having to say you’re sorry,” how do we ever begin to forgive?
I couldn’t agree with this more. Well said.
Mindy Trotta says
I am not a good communicator and I really shy away from confrontation, so reconciling bad feelings is not very easy for me. I can forgive, but there are some things that were done to me that I will never forget.
Helene Cohen Bludman says
You are so right, Linda. In our parents’ generation things were often swept under the rug. Now we know how important it is to be honest with our feelings. Sweeping it under the rug might be a short-term solution, but it’s better to get everything out in the open and apologize, difficult as that might be.
Lois Alter Mark says
I don’t know why it’s so hard for some people to say, “I’m sorry.” Those two little words can have such a huge impact.
Donna Tagliaferri says
I love the relief that comes from saying I am sorry…and I love the feeling I can give someone else by forgiving.
Cathy Chester says
Those are such words to say, and honestly sometimes I have to swallow my damn pride to do it. Saying you’re sorry is so powerful and would make relationships so much easier. Sometimes too much time passes and the relationship can’t always be saved. Love this post, Linda