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What The Heck Was I Thinking: A Fauxmoir

what was I thinkingI’m not really writing a memoir, but if I did, these could very well be the chapter titles. Once again, I’m joining North West Mommy and her posse for their Monday Listicles. This week’s topic is 10 Chapters in a Book About Me. Here are the chapter titles of my fauxmoir, “What The Heck Was I Thinking.” Happy reading.

What The Heck Was I Thinking, Part 1

A Disco Queen Is Born
One Day You’ll Have A Kid Just Like You
Do As I Say, Not As I Do
Can’t We All Just Snuggle On The Couch And Play Nice?
The Sky Is Falling Grab A Hard Hat

What The Heck Was I Thinking, Part 2

OMG, I Had A Kid Just Like Me…Make That Two
Whaddya Mean The Kids Grow Up And Leave?!
It’s All Fine And Dandy Until Somebody Breaks A Hip
Online, Divalicious, And Got Time To Burn
The Clock Is Ticking, Get Busy While You Still Can

What would your 10 chapter titles be?

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Filed Under: Parenting, Writer's Life Tagged With: chapter titiles, fauxmoir, humor, it's all about me, memoir, monday listicles, north west mommy

Comments

  1. Nina says

    April 14, 2013 at 7:04 pm

    You’re further than I am! I wouldn’t even be able to think of a title for the book let alone chapters.

    Reply
    • Carpool Goddess says

      April 14, 2013 at 10:01 pm

      Somehow it came to me. I think I’ve been mentally writing this one for years 😉

      Reply
  2. Kita says

    April 14, 2013 at 8:38 pm

    Lol loved it I think the title for would be Why because kids ask that a lot.

    Reply
    • Carpool Goddess says

      April 14, 2013 at 9:58 pm

      I think Why is most kids favorite word!

      Reply
  3. Stasha says

    April 14, 2013 at 11:58 pm

    You are going to give Bossy pants a run for her money. I laughed at the titles so I bet I will pee in my pants when I get my hands on the book. I also gave birth to a child like me. Ouch!

    Reply
    • Carpool Goddess says

      April 15, 2013 at 8:13 am

      Thanks, Stacha! That’s the highest compliment a girl could ask for. Now all I have to do is write it! 🙂 #tinafeyismyhomegirl

      Reply
  4. Jamie@SouthMainMuse says

    April 15, 2013 at 8:14 am

    This was great and I am sooo at “The Clock is Ticking” point in my life. Not for getting pregnant mind you, but life is running out . . . Where do the days go?

    Reply
    • Carpool Goddess says

      April 15, 2013 at 9:12 am

      Thanks, Jamie! My clock is ticking with the same speed and direction as yours. I’m like a little mouse on a treadmill chasing it’s nose.

      Reply
  5. Christina Simon says

    April 15, 2013 at 9:01 am

    Fun prompt! Love your titles! You should really write that book!

    Reply
    • Carpool Goddess says

      April 15, 2013 at 9:12 am

      I might just do it! Thanks, Christina 🙂

      Reply
  6. Michelle Chiklis says

    April 15, 2013 at 9:30 am

    You had me at a Disco Queen is born. I can’t wait for you book to come out.

    Reply
    • Carpool Goddess says

      April 15, 2013 at 9:36 am

      Thanks, Michelle! The titles were easy, now comes the hard part.

      Reply
  7. Walker Thornton says

    April 15, 2013 at 9:40 am

    I’d have to include (and probably will as I’m in the writing process) If You Were Mine, I’d Hold You Like An Egg–something a man from an online dating site wrote me–I’m positive he was one of those foreign scammer types.

    Reply
    • Carpool Goddess says

      April 15, 2013 at 2:39 pm

      Walker, what a great line! Thanks for coming by for a visit.

      Reply
  8. BH Mom says

    April 15, 2013 at 8:25 pm

    Keep this up and you’ll be another starving writer. Ah well, I could use the company.

    Reply
    • Carpool Goddess says

      April 18, 2013 at 4:08 pm

      Good company, indeed!

      Reply
  9. Yona says

    April 15, 2013 at 11:10 pm

    Ha! Great chapters! Love the “One Day You’ll Have A Kid Just Like You” and then….”OMG, I Had A Kid Just Like Me…Make That Two”

    Reply
    • Carpool Goddess says

      April 18, 2013 at 4:09 pm

      Thank you, Yona! Glad you enjoyed it.

      Reply
  10. parentwin says

    April 16, 2013 at 9:44 am

    I’d have to think a while to come up with my chapter titles! I could come up with ten just for the year when my kids were four. Haha. I’m here from the blog party a while back and happy I found you. Very impressive, your blog and accomplishments! Following you on Facebook, and if you get a second, I hope you’ll stop by my page and see if you like it over there, too! http://www.parentwin.com/2013/04/ultimate-blog-party-2013.html

    Reply
    • Carpool Goddess says

      April 18, 2013 at 4:28 pm

      Thank you for your sweet comments. Just checked out your blog. Gorgeous photos!

      Reply
  11. Stacey says

    April 16, 2013 at 1:10 pm

    Ha! Great title list. I love that your story is two parts of what was I thinking! Perfect!

    Reply
    • Carpool Goddess says

      April 18, 2013 at 4:18 pm

      Thanks, Stacey. There would have been a Part 3 had the blog hop allowed 🙂

      Reply
  12. Hayley says

    April 16, 2013 at 2:48 pm

    Bring on the book! I’m liking those chapter titles!

    Reply
    • Carpool Goddess says

      April 18, 2013 at 4:15 pm

      Will do, Hayley. Thanks!

      Reply
  13. Chris Carter says

    April 17, 2013 at 10:44 am

    OMGOSH those chapter titles are BRILLIANT!!! So glad I stopped by for the laugh. 🙂

    Reply
    • Carpool Goddess says

      April 18, 2013 at 4:17 pm

      Thank you, Chris! So glad you came by.

      Reply
  14. Elaine says

    April 17, 2013 at 3:50 pm

    Where can I pre-order my copy?

    Reply
    • Carpool Goddess says

      April 18, 2013 at 4:16 pm

      You came to the right place 🙂

      Reply
  15. Chloe Jeffreys says

    April 17, 2013 at 8:11 pm

    Hmmm. Here goes my attempt.

    Part I

    1. I’m Sure These Aren’t My Parents
    2. Butterflies in Jars
    3. Illness Becomes Her
    4. The End of My Princess Existence
    5. WTF?

    Part II

    6. How the Viet Nam War and Richard Nixon Really Screwed Up My Life
    7. Catching Your Mother in Bed With Another Man Isn’t as Fun as it Sounds
    8. I want to be a Playboy Bunny When I Grow Up
    9. Walking Out of the Desert
    10. Girl Games Suck; Boy Games Are Much More Fun

    Reply
    • Hayley says

      April 18, 2013 at 12:15 pm

      Are you sure you didn’t steal my book titles, Chloe? LOL. Your book sounds like my life. I’ll buy it when you publish it!

      Reply
    • Carpool Goddess says

      April 18, 2013 at 4:16 pm

      Awesome chapters, Chloe! Save a spot for me at your book launch!

      Reply
  16. Hayley says

    April 18, 2013 at 12:13 pm

    Came back for a second visit after seeing your link on a comment on my own blog. Hi again! Chloe’s chapter titles are awesome!

    Reply
  17. Barbara Coleman says

    April 19, 2013 at 12:49 pm

    Great Prompt! All my Chapter titles could be songs in my playlist on my iPod…..Each time I listen to them I am amazed that both the title and the song takes me right to my journey

    My Autobiography in Music

    Part I

    Oops, I did it again – Britney Spears
    End of the World – Skeeter Davis
    Little Bird – Annie Lennox
    Donna – Ritchie Valens
    Both Sides Now – Judy Collins

    Part II
    Marry You – Bruno Mars
    First Time Love – Livingston Taylor
    Mary Tyler Moore Show Theme Song – The Hit Co
    You Don’t Know me – Ben Folds
    Everything Reminds me of my Dog – Jane Siberry

    Reply
  18. Keely says

    April 20, 2013 at 10:48 am

    These are awesome. Not only that, but I read them as a group, kind of like a bizarre haiku. There. Now I gave you an idea for a book of Memoir Poetry. (Visiting from Sharefest!)

    Reply
  19. Leslie Reichert says

    April 21, 2013 at 2:02 pm

    Such fun. Now you have me thinking….

    Reply
  20. D. A. Wolf says

    April 24, 2013 at 6:03 pm

    This cracked me up!

    The only title I could add at this point is… “Are We THERE Yet?” Of course, I’m not quite sure where “there” is!

    Loved this!

    Reply
  21. Tammy says

    April 25, 2013 at 1:29 pm

    I always tell my one and only daughter that I hope that one day she will have a little girl just like her. At which point she crinkles her nose and says “thanks for nothing, mom”. Kinda says it all, doesn’t it? So enjoyed this post!

    Reply

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