Apparently, I’m wearing the wrong size bra. And, to my chagrin, have been for years. This little nugget came to me while in the dressing room at a local swanky store known for it’s lingerie department. Where the saleswomen are skilled, overzealous, and without any concept of modesty.
The young, perky saleswoman, let’s call her Amber, parked herself in my dressing room and “sized” me up with her eye-balls. She used the measuring tape to confirm what she already knew.
With one swift move she removed the selections I brought with me and said she’d be right back with my proper size, a blah blah.
Well, there is just no way, NO WAY AT ALL. This can’t possibly be true. Her measuring tape must be wrong.
Yes, I might have gained a few (or ten) pounds over the last few years. But, I’m pretty sure they distributed themselves mostly around my muffin-top and derriere. I mean, I am not completely blind, I did notice I was looking, shall we say, a bit more abundant. And I thought the discomfort was just acid reflux.
So I tried on the new, larger bras. They fit perfectly. It was like an outer body experience. I finally asked Amber if I could have a moment alone. “When did all this happen?” I kept asking myself over and over shaking my head in disbelief. Ungrateful that my cup runneth over.
As a former card-carrying member of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee, I never thought I would see the likes of this. Most of my youth was spent wondering if I was adopted praying my “girls” would finally grow. I wasn’t greedy or anything, even half the size of my Aunt Betty would have been fine.
Creeping to the cashier, I realized I had finally joined the racks, I mean ranks, of my bosomy relatives.
The lesson here?
Careful what you wish for.
i can TOTALLY relate!
I have always wanted to be professionally fit for a bra. But I have never done it….one more thing to put on my bucket list
I think I was 16 when my mother took me for my first professional fitting. Fast forward almost 4 decades to last spring when I found myself standing in the fitting as a total stranger wrapped a tape measure around my chest, hooked and unhooked the tiny closure ladders, and checked for fit with an eye for detail and indifference to the fact that she’s focusing on my breasts. I can’t count the number of fittings I’ve had over the years, but the one thing that stays consistent is the consistency of awkwardness, and the amazement when that well trained clerk finds me the Holy Grail of cups.
I am pretty tolerant and patient but not with the ladies who custom fit bras… I guess it has been a while since I subjected myself to that torture because I am pretty sure I never got an Amber — mostly Mildred or Gertrude…. If you are surprised you hit bras on Day 3, I am really looking forward to where you go next!
I am so with you! Who decides to become a professional bra fitter anyway?!
I have NEVER been able to get a good fitting bra…well..I’ve not tried the uber expensive ones or anything..but I’ve tried a bunch o sizes.
I pretty much just count the hours until I’m home from work and can set the sisters free.
I have the same trouble, only they don’t make bras small enough for me. I never know what size to buy. And I’ve heard that the right size bra makes everyone okay! Maybe that’s why I haven’t made the NY Times Best Sellers list yet.
I hear ya! Finally bit the bullet and went to one of those high-end places myself. Plunked down over $200 and change for two bras and lo and behold, I am still uncomfortable! (And of course, I was wearing the wrong size…”Probably have been for years.”)
OMG can i even face the professional bra fitter? LOL
Oh, I am right behind you, my friend… I realized the other day that I really should make a trip to Nordstrom and let them size me up. Not something I look forward to, though! Thanks for making me laugh about it.
And to make matters worse, different bra manufacturers size differently! So even if you aren’t more “ample” your size may have gone up (or down) depending on the company. Go figure (pun intended!)
I have never done this and I so need to. My girls are definitely running over. I hate bra shopping!
This just made me laugh! I absolutely hate bra shopping. In fact I dislike it so much they practically disintegrate before I bother to replace them. I know I can hear you thinking from over here…my poor deprived husband. Yeah that’s a no. His boxers aren’t much better! haha
I did the same thing, only I went with a girlfriend who was a size 0 and she couldn’t relate to my experience. Nordstrom’s? I don’t think I like your bra fitter. BTW, do they go to school for that? 🙂
Bras are just the worst. The best part of my day is when I can take mine off. Even in the right size.
The bra fitters at Victoria Secret have scared me into hiding whenever I need a new bra. Oh the trauma.
I’m pretty terrible about keeping current with my cup size, but I always try to remember Tim Gunn’s sage advice about clothes looking better on you when your girls aren’t all in a bunch.
I hate bra shopping. I have been sized a few times, but overall, lovely bra selections for those with boobs is limited.
I did this too for the first time ever during my life after 50 and it was an eye opener.
I hate bra shopping. Hate, hate, HATE IT. My cup size seems to fluctuate often just like my damn weight these days.
Thank goodness it’s not just our asses that grow with weight gain. Hope to see your new cleavage soon!
It is an uplifting experience and I feel better with a new well fitted bra! My girls are mangled, mis-sized and odd and the perky Nordstrom fitters, bless their souls, never blink an eye,.
Hi! Found you through #NaBloPoMo! Love this post. Nothing wrong with your cup running a little over! It’s all about finding the bra that lifts and flatters. Work it, girl! 😉
You’ve inspired me to go get a check up… a cup check up. I find myself more and more wanting to go without a bra or deftly unclipping and pulling through my sleeve as my husband and I watch TV at night. Perhaps it’s because I simply need new, as my grandma called them, “over the shoulder boulder holders” (not that I have boulders by any means!).
Funny, sad but true fact of life. I have a simple solution for this problem… I don’t wear one! Ha ha ha!
It’s kinda funny when other people dream of getting bigger breast and others are uncomfortable with them, well, everyone is different. About the lesson that is to be learned, get your measurements. Never rely on intuition or estimation. It always has backfires.
I made my DDDD daughter go to Nordstrom to for a fitting before college. Oy. Hundreds of dollars later . . . she looks even more dangerous. At least she’s comfortable.