Most parents of typical toddlers are constantly challenged, mentally drained, and extremely exhausted. Not much changes when you’re raising a teenager.
Though unlike the “Terrible Two’s,” teenagers are extremely verbal and, while you will still hear the emphatic “NO,” are like well-versed little lawyers: ready, willing, and able to defend or plead their case. Just because they can feed themselves and, thankfully, wipe their own tushies, doesn’t make you home free. You still worry about what they eat, what they drink, if they play nice with others, and pray they sleep in their own beds.
Here are 10 more truths of parenting a teenager:
Curfews are meant to be broken.
Taking a page out of my parent’s handbook, “Better late than never.” There really is no excuse not to call or text since their cell phones are – if they’re born after 1990 – practically second skin. However, you’d rather they be late than driving like mad to get home on time. Deep breaths help while you wait.
I hate you!
No, they don’t really hate you, no matter how many times or how convincingly they say it. They just can’t think of anything else as potent to say. The sooner you get used to hearing it the better.
But, everyone’s doing it! You’re so unfair!
Not everyone is “doing it, going there, or even allowed to do it.” Teens have been successfully pitting parents against each other for years. Don’t fall for it.
One day you’ll have a kid just like you!
Your parents warned you you’d have a child just like you. And they were right! (Don’t ask me how I know.) What they didn’t tell you is that it would be YOU x 100.
Say the opposite of what you mean.
Say “No, you mustn’t,” and no sooner do you turn your back, chances are they’re already doing it. Every. Time. Pick your battles wisely.
You don’t understand!
Why, yes, yes I do. In fact, my generation, or maybe it was my parents’, or the generation before invented that. So, yes, I do understand and the answer is still NO.
Can I Borrow This?
If you have a daughter and, if miraculously, she actually likes your taste, she will go shopping in your closet and will set her sites on your most precious possessions. Lucky for me by the time my daughter was ready for heels her foot was larger than mine. My handbags are not as safe. All I ask is that they come back in the same condition as they left. So far so good.
They want you. No, I really mean it.
They want you (and need you) in their life more than they will ever let on. You may feel as if you’re only an ATM or a chauffeur, but don’t be fooled. They love you and need you more than ever. Just don’t ever expect to hear it.
Baby you can drive my car.
If they borrow the car it will most likely come back without gas and quite possibly smell like French fries, sweaty socks, or worse. I’m just thankful they got home safely with the car and themselves in tact. As I said, pick your battles wisely.
A little bit of humor goes a long way.
Especially when trying to diffuse idle threats. If your teen leans toward the dramatic- and honestly, whose doesn’t- and threatens to run-away because “you are so unfair” or the “worst parent ever,” though you know (for sure) they would never leave the safety and security of home and an open wallet, not to mention a well-stocked pantry , smile, and say, “Great, I’ll help you pack,” then hum excitedly as you make your way to the storage closet full of suitcases.
Start begging or insisting they stay and you’ve turned this into a test of wills they might feel they have to make good on. Instead, let them save face and get annoyed you’re not taking them seriously. They’ll also be relieved. They just want to bitch and moan. It’s part of the territory.
I say this with authority (though take it with a grain of salt) my attempts at running away got me as far as the edge of our driveway. Instinctively, I knew I wasn’t going to get very far with a suitcase full of stuffed animals, two dollars and a bag of Oreos. I just wanted to be heard. Your kids do too.
Claudia Schmidt says
I was just having this very discussion this morning. My 2 are 19 and 17 and man, it’s a crazy ride! Your feedback is dead on 🙂
Emily says
Yup – all true! Two of my three kids are teens now and this is far more mentally exhausting than those toddler years…thank god for wine! 🙂
Valerie Newman says
I love this post. And thankfully, I (and my kids) survived the teenage years with few scars. That song, “I Will Survive” used to play in my head.
Sandra Sallin says
Hysterical.My grandaughter is just starting this craziness.
Ellen Dolgen says
This is hilarious! I do remember my car smelling like fries………..so funny! Pick your battles — is the best advice ever. We lived by that one when our kids were teens. It served us and them well!
Carolann says
lol love that quote about the dog. My kids made it through their teenage years thankfully and yes it was a rough ride. This post is so right on. Made me laugh the whole way through!
Lois Alter Mark says
This is funny now that my kids are no longer teenagers! Everything you said here is so true, and I have the gray roots to prove it.
Carol Cassara says
I just had lunch with a friend who has teens and what a lunch it was. Her 13 yr old’s phone screen came up with porn the other day. LOL
Cheryl Nicholl says
So true. I remember the days. I just swallowed my temper and let it all pass. Now I’m the smartest person they know!
Elaine Maltzman says
Cute!
Janie Emaus says
So true. And I feel like I’m living this all over again with my granddaughter. Only this time I’m a bit wiser.
Hayley says
Excellent wisdom and entertaining as well! LOL!
Heidi Sloss says
Great reminders for parents of teens. Mostly I remember that time fondly and miss the teen energy around the house. But then I remember the teen temper tantrums and hormonal moodiness that was also a part of the package and feel better with a phone call or dinner date with my now grown/Inc kids. We are now foraging adult relationships with our kids. The wheel is turning!
Jennifer Mason Wolfe says
Funny! I have two teens…one on the upside of teenage terror, and one on the downside. I can do this…