What a bizarre concept…To begin finding time for me, when its been all about them. For the last 20 years, 21 if you count the pregnancy, (and my body was clearly not my own!) it’s been all about my husband and kids (and not necessarily in that order).
I’ve never found anything that fit me as well, or made me as fulfilled, as being a parent. It’s been an amazing adventure and now the rules are changing.
I’m still a parent, though I’m not wiping noses or tushies, and a lot of my fun teachable moments seem to have become more serious ones, as my kids move into adulthood and become more independent (the joys of teen years!).
Admittedly, I’m not the best Susie Homemaker, (what I lack in “Martha Stewart”, I make up for in love and affection). Filling my day, by taking care of their needs, became my purpose. I have to admit, it feels better to focus on them, than me.
Now that my youngest is a senior in high school, those who know me well, are telling me that I will need to find something to occupy my mind and time (other than worry), once the 24/7 “mommyness” (carpools, school volunteering, bake sales, helping with homework, etc…) literally packs up and moves away.
And I better start looking for that something now. Not waiting until the youngest leaves, and I’m hearing the echo of an empty house, to figure it out. I can’t imagine a more odd feeling than having so much time for myself or not being the bottom rung on the totem pole. Not that I minded.
It’s not that carving out a little time for me sounds bad. On the contrary, the moments that I find here and there, are like a gift. Even more so, when it’s a precious commodity. However, I’m not so sure I would ever want to be as “me” centric as when I was single.
I guess I have no choice, but to ease into it, like I have every other stage of parenting. Wish me luck.…
Do you have any suggestions that helped you transition to an empty nest?