The days are warm, long and sultry, and my schedule is definitely looser, but that doesn’t mean life is without stress.
For the first time in two years, both kids are living at home for the summer and while there are sweet moments of bliss having all the beds filled, it isn’t without turmoil and large food bills. Add the anxiety and excitement of Mini-Me leaving for college in just a few short weeks, then top it off with the realization of our impending empty nest. Oy.
Mother hen with an empty nest?! Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. All the empty nesters I’ve spoken to have told me with a gleam in their eyes only seen in honeymooners and Mega Millions Lotto winners, tales of happy wondrous lives and freedom unthinkable in decades once the birds have left the nest. (Imagine a horde of adults running aimlessly with their arms high in the air shrieking with delight “I’m free, I’m free!”)
Frankly, after months of crying and bouts of denial, I’m now feeling a little giddy. My preoccupation with helping Mini-Me feather her new nest (a totally different experience this time around, because boys, God bless them, don’t care!) is taking my mind off the end of August when I have to move her into her dorm and say goodbye. A week later College Boy moves back to school to begin his senior year.
I know it will be tough. I have absolutely no clue what this new life will be like or how I will feel. The uncertainty used to terrify me a little, but the train is on the track and there’s no way to stop it, and I don’t want to, so I’m jumping on for the ride and bringing a bottle of champagne with me. Kleenex, too.
Do you have an empty nester story you’d like to share? Misery Bliss loves company.
My kids are just 5 & 8 but spend every other weekend with their dad. So far I haven’t had the desperate pangs of loss as they walk out the door. Rather I feel FREE!! I make fabulous plans in my head and then, more often than not, do nothing. It’s awesome. Congrats!
After a few days of freedom I’m wondering if I’ll start to go crazy. More posts to follow on this one.
ARGH!! We’re going through the same thing, but it seems like your brood has transitioned well. I posted on this very topic yesterday on “Get Me Off This Ride!”
I’m not sure if I’m transitioning well, I’m just trying to embrace it since they’re nothing I can do. It really depends what day it is. Most days I’m in denial 😉
I can’t imagine having a completely empty nest! My daughter’s at sleepaway camp for a month and I feel bereft! I have to walk into her room once a day and touch her stuff! It IS nice, however, not having to pay a babysitter and to be able to make something else for dinner besides mac n cheese and broccoli. 🙂
I felt that way when my kids were away last summer. It literally felt like my arm was cut off.
From what I hear, the kids will need you, but in a different way…can you say $$$???? My kids were gone for 5 days and it was odd not having them here. Let’s have lunch!
LOL, yes, lots of $$$. Lunch sounds great, we’ll have to plan that!
I’m picking out which bedroom I’ll be turning into my “woman cave.” It’s going to have a comfy chair, a table for my laptop and a wine fridge.
I like the way you think! I was going to clean out the old playroom upstairs and turn it into a fabulous office.
So strange when they are all gond
Yes, it will be.
so so so sorry. House full of college kids and I didn’t finish my reply and must have pushed post—sorry. It gets so quiet when they are gone that you can finish a thought. When they are home…well you post half finished sentences!
I know the feeling 🙂
I can’t imagine having kids around for so long and then watching them leave. It must be a strange experience, and a sad one too. Of course, with two little ones myself, I envy your position. Sleeping late, no nagging to brush your teeth, no sibling spats. Heaven! But when my time comes, I’m sure I will need a big box of Kleenex too!
I certainly won’t miss nagging about homework and all the other stuff. But we’ll have Skype so I’m sure I’ll get my two sense in 😉
Awwww – this post reminds me so much of my own mother. I have a twin brother and we left for college (on opposite sides of the country) at the same time. Mama Steiner went a little loopy to say the least.
And in a weird way, the ’empty nest’ and the distance between my mother and I positively redefine the parameters of our growing relationship. We could see each other more clearly from a distance, so our in-person time became more mature, loving, and precious. It sounds like you have that kind of relationship with Mini-Me. 🙂
Yeah, well this mama might get a little loopy too (it’s probably already happened!). I think you’re right Matt, the relationship will mature and deepen. I’ve seen that happen with my relationship with College Boy. Thank you for sharing your experience with me 🙂
I’m taking my cues from you, though I have a few years before the nest is empty. In other words, I’m starting my champagne and wine collection now so I’m prepared when the moment comes.
Smart move BH Mom!
I started to panick about the start of my empty nest days a couple of years before it happened. Now I can sum it up this way: it’s great when they come home and it’s also great when they leave. I love the hustle and bustle and traffic in our house of my kids and their friends. I enjoy the laughter and the guitar and piano playing and fortuntately, I even enjoy the blaring music. (My younger son puts together excellent play lists.) What I don’t like is the messy trail my younger son leaves behind or the time clock and schedule both boys run on. Who knew that the best time to start a monopoly game or go swimming int the pool was 1am? ( I owe my neighbors big time for not calling the police because of the noise level at our home this summer.) Who would guess that coming home at 1am is considered an early night? How do they even manage to sleep until 2:30pm in the afternoon?
So I’m enjoying all this right now, but no, I won’t be crying when it’s over and school starts up again. Hang in there, Carpool Goddess. It’s all going to be just fine!
Thanks, Hayley. It’s always good to know there is a light at the end of the tunnel 🙂
As a mom on the other end of the spectrum (toddlerhood!), I love that this post makes something I’ve always heard about with regret sound wonderful instead. There are endless personal interests and pleasures we sacrifice when we become parents. What sweet bliss it must be to have the time and space to yourself back again. A sweet reward for so many hard worked and loving years paid. CONGRATS!
Thanks, Stephanie! Kind of amazing after 21 years of child rearing to have this kind of free time.