Learning to live out loud in my second half wasn’t originally my goal, but it happened anyway.
I pretty much spent a lifetime fluffing the pillows in my cushy comfort zone. But all that changed four years ago when I took a chance as the empty nest began to creep up on me. Fueled by hysteria and impulse I decided to pursue my first love…writing.
Before you know it, I was a “Parenting Guru” on Yahoo!, sharing parenting stories and childhood anecdotes, and using a pseudonym because even I couldn’t believe what I was doing. I hadn’t told anyone for months and I was bursting!
So during a regular afternoon stroll with my BFF, I suddenly blurted out, “I started a blog! But you can’t tell anyone!” Once the smelling salts kicked in and she regained consciousness, she begged me to send her the link to my blog. Days passed before I acquiesced. I sat on the phone with her, literally holding my breath, while she read through the first post. Did she like it? Was I any good? More importantly, was I funny?
She loved it, or maybe just loved me, because she said how funny and talented I was. (You can see why she’s my BFF, right?!) And she couldn’t believe how her publicly private and soft spoken friend, was putting it all out there for those to read. To complicate matters, my new editor told me I had to get on social media to promote my posts.
Social whaaat???
I had no idea how to Tweet or how to navigate “My Face” (my constant confusion of My Space and Facebook made my teens cringe). Twitter wasn’t that scary, I could still be relatively anonymous, but for a gal who usually likes to fly under the radar, creating a personal Facebook page, (something I swore I would NEVER do!), literally gave me hives.
When The Huffington Post came a knockin’ (maybe it was the other way around, but whatever), I agonized for days because they wanted to use my real name and face for my bio, not the cute cartoon version of myself in my logo. It felt strange to see my face on the internet. Awkward and vulnerable to have my thoughts exposed, but I learned to let that go. And I’m glad I did.
What you may not know is that I am kind of shy. I am often more comfortable being an observer than on center stage. But, even that has changed a little too. Chatty exchanges and conversations online with friends and readers have made me even more comfortable joining the conversation in real life. Who’d a thought?!
However, I’m no stranger to keeping my mouth shut, as I’m known as a vault amongst my friends. I can keep a secret. (What secret? SEE!) I’ve never once shared something in private or online that would have been juicy or newsworthy. No. Not once. And why? Because, I believe in karma. I wouldn’t want my secrets spilled either. When my blog was still shiny and new, most conversations with friends began with their pleading, “Please don’t write about this….” Never have. Never will.
When my family begged, “Please don’t write anything personal or embarrassing about us,” or heaven forbid post a photo, I haven’t. Their story isn’t my story to tell. That’s why my blog is pretty much all about me. And in a world where I have always instinctively put someone else first, this feels good for a change.
Who knew how much fun this would be and how many amazing opportunities would come my way? Or that I would get so much pleasure from writing and connecting with others. Writing this blog has been truly liberating and while sometimes I want to retreat back into my comfort zone I give myself a nudge, because none of this would have ever happened if I would have decided to play it safe.
I’ve come a long way, baby. Maybe you have too.
I love how you got started and began to take those courageous steps toward growing as a person and as a writer in the blogging world! I love that you started this for YOU and that your talent has taken you far! And I absolutely agree about NOT telling other people’s stories on my blog or anywhere really. I too, try to never dishonor anyone’s trust in me.
And yes we would we want the same!
Such a great reflective post… the best of luck to you with your success!
Thank you, Chris! It’s been so much fun. Who knew?!
You’ve come a long way baby and it’s a treat to read you and be a friend. You’ve got a lot of fun and pithy words to share. I lap each word up! You go girl!
Thanks, Sandy! I’m so lucky to have you as a friend. Thank heavens for blogging, right?!
Yup, that’s what the empty nest does. It not only gives our kids wings to fly, it gives them to US, too – and fly you did! Keep up the good work 🙂
Thanks for the words of encouragement Sheryl 🙂
I’m so glad you started blogging because besides the fact that I love your writing, I am so happy to have you as a real life friend now! I think it’s wonderful that you have such respect for your family and friends and choose not to write about them – it’s not easy to keep others out of our blogs, is it?
I feel ya on the empty nest thing, although my youngest is still here so maybe not quite empty. I do have the granddaughter over a lot though so she keeps me hopping. Hoping to post her adventures on my blog soon.
So proud of you my friend! Keep on writing!
Thanks, Elaine! You’ve been there from the beginning. So appreciate your support.
Your personality always shines through your witty blog posts – it’s such a treat to do something you love and enjoy, isn’t it?
Sounds so similar! My bog used to be more about the kids, but as they got older, I too agreed that their stories were not my stories and things became all about me. . .which is odd, because I’m shy! I’ve really enjoyed your college blog posts, as I am navigating those waters! Keep on writing!
What an inspiring post, Linda! It seems that we’re all ‘Accidental Bloggers” of some kind, in one way or another, & I love how much I LEARN from everyone. The Huffington Post is a dream of mine, so its very inspiring to read they came in search of you! 🙂
Thank you, Mary! Actually, I was in search of HuffPost (more like begging and offering a first born), joking how they looked for me.
Great Post! And I also enjoyed reading some of your back story.
Thanks, Barbara! So glad you enjoyed it.
Love hearing your back story, Linda! And glad you’re out there carpooling with us newbies. You make it look fun and easy.
I am SO glad you started to blog. I am SO glad you are a good (and very funny) writer. And I am SO glad I met you IRL last summer. Because you are the genuine, authentic, real-deal, Linda Maltz Wolff, and I knew that right away. A true gem. BTW, last week I was saying I am part introvert part extrovert, if that is possible. It depends on the situation, so I understand the shy part. Big hugs for this marvelous post.
I have always loved reading your blog. It is funny and warm, just like you. Keep on writing, my friend!
Thanks, Helene! xoxo
I knew the minute we met at BlogHer 13 that you would be someone fun to hang out with. So glad that you are thriving in your second act and that we are both featured in our new book: My Other Ex: Women’s True Stories of Losing and Leaving Friends. You are one friend I want to keep!
Thanks, Estelle! So glad I met you too and hope to see you soon!
We’re very similar! I started my blog using initials, a pseudonym, and even now, I’m still shy about posting my last name and photo! And I STILL don’t blast my blog out to the world in my personal social circles. I know, it’s nuts, but I feel like I’m so open online but I wonder how people I know in my ‘real life’ will think of my writing.
Nina, I’ve had a lot of positive feedback from people IRL who I had no idea read my blog. It was encouraging. We’re all our own worst critic, so keep writing and don’t worry about what people think.
Great post. Thanks for sharing.